BLOG: 5 steps to creating a Healthy Relationship with Failure

We all have aspirations to  in life, big or small, to give purpose to life. Wether it is a career goal, health goal, relationship goal, parenting goal, entrepreneurial goal, or a financial goal, in some field in life a next step is waiting and goals need to be set to create a new result. 

Yet, on that path, there's one companion we all meet undoubtebly: failure. And let’s be honest: we often don’t handle it very well.

When we fail, miss a goal, break our word, don’t show up how we wanted we step what in we call a breakdown. In this space, it’s easy to slip into a victim mindset. We isolate ourselves, have endless negative conversations in our own head, blame others or hide behind excuses. Even ending up in quitting the goal and aspiration important to us. 

But what if we looked at failure differently?

Failure and breakdowns, however uncomfortable, are not the end. They are the beginning of something. They exist to show us something, to create awareness, to sharpen us. If we dare to look honestly, every breakdown holds the seed of a breakthrough.

Creating a healthy relationship with breakdown and failure is not just about recovering faster, it’s about transforming how you lead yourself. From reaction to reflection. From judgment to ownership. From breakdown to breakthrough.

From Breakdown to Breakthrough: 5 steps 

We cannot avoid breakdowns, they are part of life. But we can learn to relate to them in a healthier, more empowering way. We call it the breakdown protocol:

1. Acknowledge it – Own it. The first step is to stop running. Face what happened and take responsibility. Not with blame or shame, but with honesty. “I created this.” Excuses might feel easier, but they rob us of the power to grow.

2. Choose a responsible version of yourself. Ask: Who have I been in this situation? This creates awareness. Instead of pointing outward, turn inward. How did your way of being contribute? This is not about guilt, it’s about leadership.

3. Look for possibilities. Now ask: What worked? What could I have done differently? This is the space where new choices are born. From breakdown to learning.

4. Forgive yourself. Growth doesn’t happen without compassion. You’re human. You’re allowed to fall, everyone fails. Forgiving yourself opens the door to trying again, not from survival, but from love.

5. Redesign and recommit. Finally, step into a new commitment. From who you want to be. What do you now choose in how you act, speak, show up? This is where your breakthrough takes shape.

This is not a quick fix. It’s a practice. A way of leading yourself through the messiness of life. And the more you do it, the more powerful, conscious and compassionate you become. And the bigger the chances you will stay committed in reaching a goal. 

So next time you hit a wall, don’t turn away. Lean in. The breakthrough might just be waiting on the other side.

Want to go deeper in mastering this process? In our Engage Leadership Stages, you’ll learn how to shift from victim to responsibility, how to redesign your mindset and actions, and how to consciously lead yourself through any breakdown toward lasting transformation.

Ready to lead yourself through life’s toughest moments and come out stronger? Join us in our Engage Leadership Stages and experience what’s possible when you turn breakdowns into breakthroughs.

Looking forward to seeing you there! :-)